Carlie's Diaries
by loveblindslogic
Summary: Sixteen years ago Edward screwed up. Leaving his pregant girl friend looking for the call. Now Bella is happily married, with four children and Edwards back in town. He leaves a pretty letter on her steps and she gives somthing to him to. Can Bella ever forgive Edward? Or will Edward always be the thing of the past.
1. Chapter 1

** My new story! Everyone please read and REVIEW. How am i suppose to know what to improve on if no one give me feedback? SO anyways here is the story. I do not own Twilight. And some of the ideas are not mine. I will give credit to those as i go on.**

EPOV

"Thank you". I managed to say to the red head waitress as she put a strong cup of coffee in front of me. Her eyes was tired filled with sadness and a hard days work at the old Coffee Palace down in Lexington Grove. The build was a centuries old, the dust that layered the walls was permanently in place on the the bricks. The old fashion lights let off a golden glow that sparkled the dust that floated around.

Most people just go to StarBucks in the city or Dunkin Donuts. I ran my fingers through my hair and i looked out the window into the old streets of Atlanta. I was moving back to my old home. Back to where i fucked up long ago sixteen years in fact. I was a stupid and arrogant kid back then and i wished my father knocked the sense into my head. But he didnt. He told it will come back to bite me and it did. Hard. I miss her everyday. I miss the way she smiled and small she was. But looks were deceiving. She was strong as hell, stronger than i'll ever be. I took a sip of my coffee letting the heat burn the back of my throat.

I but a ten dollar bill on the table even though the coffee was a dollar and the pie was three. I left without a word back to my apartment that looked like no one lived there anyways. It was already two in the morning and my plane to Washington leaves at eight. I pulled the covers up to my chin and layed on my side. I didn't try to sleep, I watched the sun rise until my eyes were blood shot.

"Time to make things right, no going back".

CPOV

I smiled so wide i probably looked like a freakin idiot walking down the hallway. But honestly I don't give a flip. Jackson Peeta Moore actually spoke to me! I almost skipped at the thought and all i could think about is where is Jamie? Jamie Lori Ziggler was my best friend since kindergarten. With her brown curly hair and light brown skin she was so beautiful to me. Finally i found her, she was bent over looking through her bag on the sidewalk with a look of concentration on her face. "Jamie?" She didn't look up. "Jamie?" Still no answer. "Jamie your mom threw away your shoe boxes." I said putting my hands on my hips. Her eyes snapped up to me in a flash. "What?!" "Jamie focus." A Jamie smile broke out across her face. "What happen?" I squealed in pure happiness and pulled Jamie up to her feet so we can go to her house.

"You will never guessed who talked to me today"!

BPOV

I swished a glass of wine in my hand and laughed at my husbands craziness. He covered my mouth with my hand as to not wake the children. The look in his eyes were pure joy and that is exactly how i felt. "Dont wake the kids loudmouth." He hissed under his breath pulling me closer to his side. I nuzzled my nose into his neck and smiled. "Dont make me laugh and that won't be a problem. I thought about my children sleeping in their beds and how hard it would be to get the twins back to sleep.

I folded my arms around his neck and smiled up at him. "What?" i said after a while of him staring at my face. "Your eyes are so beautiful." He ran his finger onto the sides of my face and then gently under my chin. He placed a soft warm kiss on my lips. "Lets go to bed, and long day ahead of us tomorrow.

Oh how right could he be.


	2. Toddler drama and pink paper

**I do not own twilight review please**

EPOV

As soon as i stepped out into the lobby of the Airport i spotted my younger sister jumping up and down with a bright pink sign saying welcome back big brother! I smiled at and waved my arms in the air. As soon as her blue eyes spotted me she screamed and ran into my chest almost knocking me over but having little affects on her. "Edward! You are home i missed you so much." My sister was built like a ballerina gracefully in all she do. "Hey baby sister, I missed you too." She looked at me with a look of sadness and happiness in her eyes. "Lets go home Edward. Mom is waiting for you."

CPOV

I sat at my vanity that my Dad had got me looking over my face and hair. He wasn't my real father but he was the only person close to be a father figure to me. I was beautiful like my mother . Me and my mom had the same light brown eyes and same deep chocolate brown hair that came to our shoulder blades. My mind soon wandered to my crush Jackson. His cute blonde hair and light blue eyes and his arm in gym class when he..."CARLIE ALISON SWAN!"

I screamed out in terror and fell with a thump to the hard wood floor. And a fit of giggles pierce through the pain and the ringing in my ears. I looked up at the door and my mom was standing there with a scowl on her face and a twin on each side. "Carlie, what is going on in your head!" My mom looked at me with her whole mommy look she usually save for Alyssa and Adrianna. "Nothing mom, I blushed. I zoned out. Sorry." I said pulling myself back up and sat in the bed. She rolled her eyes and smiled. "Get dressed and come on."

**BPOV**

Mornings and nights are hard for me. I have four children plus a dog, that need constant care. My eldest Carlie who i raised mostly on my own without her biological father. And the five-year old twins Alyssa and Adrianna they look exactly the same, but hair colors are different one is blond Alyssa and Adrianna has brown hair. Then my six month old Lisa May is a grouchy diva who constantly wants mine or her daddy's attention. Thankfully this morning her daddy took her to the doctors for an appointment. So my load was less today. Kinda.

"MOMMY!" I heard while feet where pounding across the hard wood floor. "Alyssa wont give me back my Duckie dress." Adrianna pouted wearing nothing but her socks and panties. "Adrianna!" I picked her up and carried her back upstairs as she wiggled the whole time. I placed her on her bed filled with toys and clothes. "Wear this." I picked out a random pair of blue jeans and purple t shirt from the pile of crap in her bed with a frog on the front. Like i though she would, folded her arms and said with a stern no and that she wants her Duckie dress that Alyssa was twirling in as we spoke.

"No Adrianna my turn. I wanna wear it today."

"No Alyssa, give it bwack to me!"

"No"

"Yes. stop it! Give it back!"

"That is enough you two. How about no one gets the dress and everyone wears purple."

I pulled out two matching outfits putting the dilemma to rest. Both girls protested together this time. "Well, at least you agree on something little monsters."

As soon as all my kids where at school and Lisa was at day care, I relaxed and headed to work at the office. "Good morning , you have a letter on your desk." Tanya my assistant told me as she gave me my everyday coffee and paperwork. "Dont I always?" I halved joked. I watch Tanya walk away from me with the same animosity she had of me since way back when. And now that she works for me it just makes it better. Hah.

My good feeling quickly started to melt away from my body as i approached my office. I felt confused at my feelings as i approached the desk. "What the hell Bella, its just a letter." I placed everything onto the desk and pick up the letter. It was light pink thin paper that was covered in printed on roses. I clutched the paper in my hand and my breath caught in my throat. Alice.

~~~~Flash back~~~~

"Alice what kind of paper is this?" I flopped down on a hot pink bingbag inside of Alice room exhausted from the walk to the little gift shop up the street.

She giggled and jumped onto her crazily fluffy pink bed. "Its fancy paper! Look, see." I ripped open one of the slips and pulled out the offense girly paper.

"This is my new signature. When ever you see this paper you know its Alice baby!"

~~~~Flash Back Over~~~~

I sat in my rolling chair and place my head in my palm. This can not be happening. I unfolded the rest of the paper and read what was inside.

_**Dear, Bella**_

_**I screwed up sixteen years ago. And I want to make things right between us and be apart of our child life. Please, I dont deserve it Bella but can you please me meet? My number -678-330-2412.**_

_**Yours truly, Edward Mason Cullen**_

_**Thank you so much from the feedback I had gotten! It was only three reviews but it made me really happy that someone read it. Hopefully I did better this time? Thank you. All criticism welcomed! Just for any one who was wondering about the twins little fight yes i did spell back as bwack on purpose. My little cousin is like that complete change words around but will fight you because she KNOWS she is right. Examples...My name is Kassidy she calls me Tasie (her little brother call me Bobby but hey). And sleep is leep and candy is tandy. Children i swear. Review please.**_


	3. Eye opener

**I do not own Twilight. If you are wondering "the story is called Carlies Diaries, where is the diaries?" Its coming very soon!**

**BPOV**

I couldn't even make it till five p.m the time I get off work. I barely touched a case file or answered a phone call or even drank my coffee. My mind kept wandering over to the letter I had stuffed in my filing cabinet.

I pushed myself out my chair and over to the glass window that overlooks the city. Edward is back in Washington after all these years. What the hell? I should have ran, I should have moved to New York with my sister Kate during the summer. I banged my head against the glass and closed my eyes tightly. The ringing of my cell phone brought me from my lastest stupor of the minute.

"Hello." I answered without looking at the caller Id.

"Its me, babe what's wrong." My husband voice rang out on the other line.

I instantly froze, I didn't even think to tell him about the letter.

"Nothing." I lied before i could think about.

"I just wanted to let you know I'm in Las Vegas now,and that I love you and I will see you next week."

"I love you too, stay out of the clubs." I smiled a little. And said our goodbye and then I packed up and went home.

**CPOV**

I flatten my blouse as i walked towards Jacksons lunch table. "Hi." I blushed.

"Hey, uh Carlie." My smile instantly fell, he forgot my name? I looked around the table and everyone had smiles and giggles on there face. My eyes landed on Laura the school bitch her hand on Jackson's thigh. She notice me looking and smiled in my damn face. "Hey Carlie, don't you look lovely today? Are you here to talk to Jackson?"

"No,no I just came to say hello." I turned around with tears in my eyes and sped out the cafe door.

How could anything get worse than this?

**EPOV**

"What if she doesn't respond? What if she never even got the letter?" I asked my sister the next day after i couldn't wait any longer. Alice placed a warm cup of tea in front of me. "She has it."

"How do you know?"

"I just do."

"That don't make a bit of since!" I raged slamming my fist down on the table.

"Edward Cullen, calm down...if you was so concerned about her you would have stayed." My father said across the room. Before I even knew what i was doing. I was up on my feet in an instant.

"Why can't you let it go?" I seethed my chest rising and falling. My father stood up easily towering over me.

"Why can't I let it go? Edward, you have no one to blame but yourself. You stepped down as your role as father and man. You decide that you wanted a couple of flings before you settled down. It took you sixteen years to decide that you was wrong, Edward. Do you know how many years i Had to wait for you to grow up? Edward you never have. You still don't take responsibility for yourself and Bella shouldn't have to respond to you. You are not apart of her life now Edward. SO the only person you need to be angry with is yourself."

My dad finished his speech and the whole house was silent. Dad never raise his voice, he had no need to because his words was enough volume in them. Everyone stood liked statutes. Mom had her arms wrapped around Rosalie daughter Abby who had her head craned inside my mother's neck. He did one more look around the room and turned and walked away.

Mom turned around and went back to making cake and Abbie looked at me with wonder in her green eyes. She looked like her mother but her dad Emmett eyes. 'Come on Abby, lets go to the park." One look of disgust in my direction she walked out the door holding Abby tiny four year old hand.

My Dad was right. I was stupid, and a cowardly son of bitch. He would never say that to anyone but basically that is what it boils down to.

**Later on that night my phone rang.**

**"Edward"**

**"Hi Edward."**

**"Bella."**

**JAJAJAJAJA! Is this story going by to fast? Any Ideas it will all go into consideration!**

**~Love,Tasie~ ;) Review Review Review!**


	4. Trip

**Thanks, and I hate when stories drag on too. Read and Review. And thanks for the followers!**

**BPOV**

As soon as I got off the phone with Edward I instantly regretted it. What the hell was I thinking? Am I really going to allow this bastard back into my life. After everything, why do I still care? I placed my head in my hands and crouched to the floor to catch my breath. "Hold it together."

I flung my hair back as I adjusted my stance. You are fucking Bella Swan. You on your own company. You have a family. Dont break down again. I grabbed my car keys and headed out the door to pick my kids up and take them to their grandmothers house for the four day break.

**CPOV**

"And he acted like he didn't know my name!" I sniffed as Jamie held my hand as I cried behind the school gym at the end of the day. "I won't even get to talk to him because mom said we was going to Grandma all break." I cried a little louder as Jamie pulled me into a hug.

"Whats wrong with me?" Im fifteen years old and no has even asked me out, ever.

"Nothings wrong with you Carlie." I looked up at Jamie and cried a bit more, its easy for her to say she was curvy had a big butt and all the guys liked her.

"Easy for you Jamie." I said a bit harshly. She pulled back and looked me in the eyes."Carlie you are beautiful, if Jackson dont see it then oh well. You have more guys chasing after you than you ever noticed. Stop crying. You are not weak." She picked up her colorful aeropostale bag and cellphone. "Come on. Your eyes are red and mascara is running. Lets go clean you up."

**EPOV**

I smiled like a damn fool. A happy damn fool. SHE called me. SHE wanted to see me. "Alice you don't know how i feel right now." I tapped my fingers on the table and waited for her cherrpy response. But it never came. I looked up to see a stern look on her face. "What are you thinking about Edward?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean what is your new plan? Cause the look on your face sure as hell isn't the original plan."

"I have the same-"

"No you don't, you do know Bella has a family now? Three girls by Nathan Smith? She isn't on the market, do not be a homewrecker Edward or you can take your sorry ass back to Atlanta."

It shocked me, the way my sister spoke to me. I can tell by the way her mood change she can see the hurt on my face.

"Im sorry Edward, but this isnt a fairytale."

**BPOV**

It was an hour drive from my house to the in laws house. So far the ride had been good. Lisa had a long day at the doctors and mainly slept all day. The twins Adrianna and Alyssa were indulging themselves in Spongebob and Carlie was on her cell phone. Pure silence.

"Mom?" Carlie natural raspy voice rang out from the side of me.

"Yes sweetheart?"

"Am I too skinny?" Her question caught me by surprise.

"No, what is with the question?" I Looked her over. Her hair was in a bun and her dance clothes clung to her body.

"Just asking."

"You are a dancer sweetheart you are long and lean, but not skinny." Carlie has been dancing since she was five. She started competitive dancing at ten years old.

"I was just asking me, nothing."

After a few quick kisses and hugs Carlie, Adrianna,Alyssa was dropped of at their grandparents. While me and Lisa made our way back to the city to meet Edward. And the closer we got to town the more angry and sad I became.

**Its time everyone. R&R**


	5. How many times?

**HIYA PEOPLE! Read and Review**

**EPOV**

I drummed the table of the coffee shop waiting anxiously for Bella to arrive. Each second was a minute, each minute was an hour and each hour was an eternity. I flicked my eyes across the driveway outside the warm shop.

I wonder how much she change she was only twenty when I last seen the broken look on her face.

**~~flashback~~**

_"Edward you have to believe me!" Bella cried out with her hands above her head. "He kissed me! I swear.. I….pushed him, Edward please." Tears began to roll down her face._

_"I can't believe I trusted you, you are nothing but a slut. Why did you do this to me? After ten years of friendship and five years of our relationship I thought I was enough for you Bella, obviously I was wrong." I seethed. I towered over her which should have scared her. But her face went blank._

_"You don't believe me, after all of this you was just going to leave me anyways." She looked up at me her eyes filled with pain then nothing. "It is over Isabella Marie Swan." I bellowed out._

_She went towards the door. "Its been over for a while now Edward, you are just now saying the words out loud."_

**~~Over~~**

And she left, just like that. I can't help remember that she look stunning that day. She was wearing green, my favorite color. The dress went perfectly with her porcelain doll skin. The skirt of the dress barely reached past her mid thigh which made her legs look perfect. But I was too busy being an asshole that day to notice then, but I notice now.

I looked back out into the parking lot and my heart stopped. A red Honda Odyssey pulled into the small parking lot looking oddly out of place. When the car was finally parked, a girl open up the driver side and step out. I couldn't see her face, as she went into the back and later came out with a baby. My heart instantly sunk. I was hoping that that girl wasn't My Bella.

But I knew it was, before I saw her face before she walked in the door before she sat in the seat across from me.

"Hello Edward." She was beautiful her hair had grown out and was in big beautiful curls around her face. She was thicker too, and bouncing the baby in her arm made her look mature.

"Hello Bella." I breathed.

"You look good Edward." Her eyes raked over my face and up to my hair. "I still see you can't manage to come your maine." She cracked a smile but it quickly disappeared from her face.

"You look great to Bella. And who is this little miss?" I touch the baby hand. She didn't look like Bella at all. With her blond hair and blue eyes she must look like her father. "This is Lisa May my youngest baby." She smiled down at the chubby baby in her arm and the baby smiled back at her with a toothless grin.

"Edward, what happen to us." Bella looked at me with the same look she gave me the last time i seen her that awful life changing day. "I was stupid Bella, I wish I could change things but I can't, and i regret that.

She looked down at the menu and I could see she was trying to steady her breathing. She looked back up a minute later."You can't change it Edward, so dont wish for it."

"Look Bella I'm just going to come right out and say. I want to be in our daughter's life-". Before I even got to finish Bella's eyes flashed with anger.

"_**Our**_daughter?" She bit out, tightening Lisa in her arms who was a little startled by her mother's sudden anger. "Edward you have** no RIGHTS** to **MY** daughter, you gave them up."

"Bella I wasn't even sure if she was my child, you called a month after we-"

"I told you Edward nothing happen between me and that boy but you still to this very** DAY,** don't believe me!" She bite her bottom lip and leaned in closer to me. "She has done fine without you Edward. _**She doesn't need you**_, I don't need you." Her statement made me furious, don't she know I'm dying over here? Dont she know Im fucking try?

"I have rights to her, I can take her if i wanted to Bella. I want to see her." A lot of things happen at that moment the words fell from my mouth to forever stain the air.

The chair Bella was in hit the ground with a loud smack. Lisa was screaming and crying and a sting burned across my face. **"YOU WILL NEVER, EVER GET MY DAUGHTER EDWARD!"** People in the place turn to see the crazy women holding a baby who turned red in the face. She leaned in closer one more time. "Edward I'm prepared to go to war for my child. Are you?" She stood back up with all her grace adjusted Lisa who was just now calming down from the uproar, and walked out the door.

She was gone, didn't look back. Just like the day that ruined my life. And somehow I managed to screw up. Twice.

**R&R~Thank you to GamecockFan2, you always comment with something for me to improve on. When I take my writing test for college in three years I will be ready!**


	6. Tasha

BPOV

Lisa May finally started to calm her breathing from the scare at the Coffee Place. I tilted the mirror to look at her in the back sit. Her cheaks stained with tears and baby blue eyes still watery. She was gazing out the window with her passi was still in her mouth. I wonder what she was thinking about. Is it possible for her to think that my actions was wrong?

I stopped at the red light shaking my head back and forth. Anger still flushed my cheeks from my baby mama drama outburst. I brushed my fingers through my hair, well tried, it always got tangled when I was flustered.

Before I even got foot through the door, Edward name flash across my cell phone. I admittedly pressed end. As much as I was angry with him, I was angry with myself. I was willing to talk to him, I almost smiled at him. With my baby from my husband in my arms the entire time.

"Come on little monster, I'm so sorry about today, how about a nice jar of baby food a bath and then off to bed?"

CPOV

I was still so hurt from when Jackson denied me in front of his friends and that slut bitch pratcially on his lap. I helped my Grandmother put the twins to sleep and soon after Granny went to sleep as well. I was so distracted today, I barely did anything right on my solo at dance practice Ladi said she will pull if I don't get my "teenage bs under order."

My room at grandma house is very beautiful, mirrors decorated one wall for me to practice my dancing. I stuck my headphones in my ear, as to not wake anyone with my music. I had "Open Water set as my repeat so I can get familiar with it, blared through my earbuds.

I placed my hands above my head to start the dance. I leaped across the floor ending with a silent thump. And waved my hands over my head making a wave like motion before pushing my torso up and stretching my legs and balancing on my toes.

I can tell you still testing the water….You don't know how to begin.

This is the moment….you can't hesitate or slow down you have to dive right in.

Fall with me to open water…..As I did my turn with my hands vertical to my body, and i realised that this dance was talking to me.

Ever turn I did, every leap, every spin and every graceful hand movement it was talking to me,and I was listening.

The fifth time I hit my end pose, I finally enough. When I glanced back into the mirror my hair stuck to forehead and my shirt sticky to my body. I smiled at myself. I knew exactly what I needed to do. Dive right in.

EPOV

I stared at my cell phone. This is the tenth time I reached out to Bella, each time she pressed end. But now its going straight to Voicemail. Her beautiful voice came through on the line "HI You have reached Bella Swan, sorry I can't or don't want to answer the phone right now. Please leave a message and I may or may not get back to you." Then at the end of the tone there was a fit of giggles in the background, I assume Bella's children.

I sighed, giving up on contacting her tonight. I looked around my empty apartment I found on Craigslist. I didn't even unpack the boxes that was sitting on the dusty glass table. The living room was dark and gloomy with the one light bulb hanging from the ceiling making it look like a bad scene from a scary movie. Sixteen years ago I was all about making things nice. Now just like my life, I barely give a damn. I glanced up at the old television on a cheap card playing table. I saw my reflection in the glass, my ghostly pale skin and the frown that masked my face almost scared me. Is this what my life became? I got up angrily growling at the reflection in glass, it growled right back at me. Mocking me. "Look at you fool." "You have nothing." "Why do sit around here? There is nothing left for you. Just end it all."

I snatched at my hair with great fury then I grabbed the remote to the television. At the thing in the glass, and it broke. It feel to the ground. I smiled, satisfied at the moment. With my sudden release of tension. When I turned around, there was Alice holding onto the door knob. A look of fear stitched to her face. Her eyes swept through me, making me shiver.

"Alice, I…"

"No Edward, you're done I'm in control now. Tonight, you are staying with me. And in the morning you have an appointment with a Therapist."

BPOV

Once Lisa was sleeping I admittedly called Tasha Jones. My best friend who stayed with me in my time of need and helped me raise Carlie until my husband came in the picture.

"This is T." Her raspy voice said when she picked up on the third ring.

"T, I need your help."

And with that she said she would be here in 10 and not to worry. I brewed tea, and made a sandwich. But i barely ate half before Tasha came barging in the door. And wrapped her arms around me. Thats when I spoke with angry tears. It maybe took ten minutes for me to calm down, but it felt like an eternity.

"Bella what happen, I never seen you get so angry before." I looked into Tasha soft eyes, they were bright and hazel easy to get lost in. "He is back."

The look on Tasha face was blank the angry she tightened her grip on my arm "Ill kill him."

I laughed knowing she isn't capable of murder, but she is of kicking some ass.

"Did you talk to him."

"I did."

"What did he say." She scooted closer to me.

"He said he wants to be apart of OUR daughter life."

"What did you say?"

I sucked in a breath of air before I blurted out. "I told him basically he wont get my child without a fight."

Tasha leaned back in the chair her blond hair covered her face.

"You flipped the fuck out didnt you."

"Pretty much."

"Bella, I know that this isn't what you want to hear, but maybe you should let him be apart of her life." She was right, that isn't what I wanted to hear.

"What?"

"Hear me out Bella, Carlie is fifteen years old have no clue who her father is."

"Yes she does." I snapped back quickly. "She has Jase." Tasha rolled her eyes at me.

"Her real father, she deserves to know." She stood up and went to the cooler. "Does she even know he is in town?"

"Of course not!"

"Does Jase?"

When I didn't answer, she slowly turned around to face me. "You didn't tell him?" It was more of a statement than a question. I didn't trust my voice so i shook my head no.

"Damn Bella, you are fucking yourself up."

I stared at her not knowing what to say.

"Look Bella, you need to tell Carlie and you need to tell Jase as soon as he comes back from Las Vegas."

She spun around on the ball of her feet. "Can I crash here tonight?"

"Mi casa es tu casa."I laughed.

BPOV

Lisa May finally started to calm her breathing from the scare at the Coffee Place. I tilted the mirror to look at her in the back sit. Her cheaks stained with tears and baby blue eyes still watery. She was gazing out the window with her passi was still in her mouth. I wonder what she was thinking about. Is it possible for her to think that my actions was wrong?

I stopped at the red light shaking my head back and forth. Anger still flushed my cheeks from my baby mama drama outburst. I brushed my fingers through my hair, well tried, it always got tangled when I was flustered.

Before I even got foot through the door, Edward name flash across my cell phone. I admittedly pressed end. As much as I was angry with him, I was angry with myself. I was willing to talk to him, I almost smiled at him. With my baby from my husband in my arms the entire time.  
"Come on little monster, I'm so sorry about today, how about a nice jar of baby food a bath and then off to bed?"

CPOV

I was still so hurt from when Jackson denied me in front of his friends and that slut bitch pratcially on his lap. I helped my Grandmother put the twins to sleep and soon after Granny went to sleep as well. I was so distracted today, I barely did anything right on my solo at dance practice Ladi said she will pull if I don't get my "teenage bs under order."

My room at grandma house is very beautiful, mirrors decorated one wall for me to practice my dancing. I stuck my headphones in my ear, as to not wake anyone with my music. I had "Open Water set as my repeat so I can get familiar with it, blared through my earbuds.

I placed my hands above my head to start the dance. I leaped across the floor ending with a silent thump. And waved my hands over my head making a wave like motion before pushing my torso up and stretching my legs and balancing on my toes.

I can tell you still testing the water….You don't know how to begin.  
This is the moment….you can't hesitate or slow down you have to dive right in.  
Fall with me to open water…..As I did my turn with my hands vertical to my body, and i realised that this dance was talking to me.

Ever turn I did, every leap, every spin and every graceful hand movement it was talking to me,and I was listening.  
The fifth time I hit my end pose, I finally enough. When I glanced back into the mirror my hair stuck to forehead and my shirt sticky to my body. I smiled at myself. I knew exactly what I needed to do. Dive right in.

EPOV

I stared at my cell phone. This is the tenth time I reached out to Bella, each time she pressed end. But now its going straight to Voicemail. Her beautiful voice came through on the line **"HI You have reached Bella Swan, sorry I can't or don't want to answer the phone right now. Please leave a message and I may or may not get back to you." **Then at the end of the tone there was a fit of giggles in the background, I assume Bella's children. I sighed, giving up on contacting her tonight. I looked around my empty apartment I found on Craigslist. I didn't even unpack the boxes that was sitting on the dusty glass table. The living room was dark and gloomy with the one light bulb hanging from the ceiling making it look like a bad scene from a scary movie. Sixteen years ago I was all about making things nice. Now just like my life, I barely give a damn. I glanced up at the old television on a cheap card playing table. I saw my reflection in the glass, my ghostly pale skin and the frown that masked my face almost scared me. Is this what my life became? I got up angrily growling at the reflection in glass, it growled right back at me. Mocking me. _"Look at you fool."_ "_You have nothing." "Why do sit around here? There is nothing left for you. Just end it all."_

I snatched at my hair with great fury then I grabbed the remote to the television. At the thing in the glass, and it broke. It feel to the ground. I smiled, satisfied at the moment. With my sudden release of tension. When I turned around, there was Alice holding onto the door knob. A look of fear stitched to her face. Her eyes swept through me, making me shiver.  
"Alice, I…"  
"No Edward, you're done I'm in control now. Tonight, you are staying with me. And in the morning you have an appointment with a Therapist."

BPOV

Once Lisa was sleeping I admittedly called Tasha Jones. My best friend who stayed with me in my time of need and helped me raise Carlie until my husband came in the picture.  
"This is T." Her raspy voice said when she picked up on the third ring.  
"T, I need your help."  
And with that she said she would be here in 10 and not to worry. I brewed tea, and made a sandwich. But i barely ate half before Tasha came barging in the door. And wrapped her arms around me. Thats when I spoke with angry tears. It maybe took ten minutes for me to calm down, but it felt like an eternity.

"Bella what happen, I never seen you get so angry before." I looked into Tasha soft eyes, they were bright and hazel easy to get lost in. "He is back."  
The look on Tasha face was blank the angry she tightened her grip on my arm "Ill kill him."  
I laughed knowing she isn't capable of murder, but she is of kicking some ass.  
"Did you talk to him."  
"I did."  
"What did he say." She scooted closer to me.  
"He said he wants to be apart of OUR daughter life."  
"What did you say?"  
I sucked in a breath of air before I blurted out. "I told him basically he wont get my child without a fight."  
Tasha leaned back in the chair her blond hair covered her face.  
"You flipped the fuck out didnt you."  
"Pretty much."  
"Bella, I know that this isn't what you want to hear, but maybe you should let him be apart of her life." She was right, that isn't what I wanted to hear.  
"What?"  
"Hear me out Bella, Carlie is fifteen years old have no clue who her father is."  
"Yes she does." I snapped back quickly. "She has Jase." Tasha rolled her eyes at me.  
"Her real father, she deserves to know." She stood up and went to the cooler. "Does she even know he is in town?"  
"Of course not!"  
"Does Jase?"  
When I didn't answer, she slowly turned around to face me. "You didn't tell him?" It was more of a statement than a question. I didn't trust my voice so i shook my head no.  
"Damn Bella, you are fucking yourself up."  
I stared at her not knowing what to say.  
"Look Bella, you need to tell Carlie and you need to tell Jase as soon as he comes back from Las Vegas."  
She spun around on the ball of her feet. "Can I crash here tonight?"  
"Mi casa es tu casa."I laughed.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**Okay the ball is spinning everyone. Again thank you for the followers, likes and the helpful Improvements. Im trying to make Carlie boy drama more exciting like a 15 year old girl. But I have trouble with that and I am a 15 year old girl going to be sixteen next month. Im not really into girl drama cause I find it dumb. Sorry to say. And I can't even have a bf until 16 ½. So yeah I have no life ;). Lol read and review please. The song Open Waters is very pretty, the song is by Lori Martini & Cassandra Kubinski. And I found it by watching Dance Mom, if you want to see the group dance its also called Open Waters Dance Mom group dance. I do not own either dance, show or music. And Mi casa es tu casa is "my home is your home".**


	7. Mama Bear

**Read and review please. I see that over 1,000 people viewed my stories. Which Im happy about, but come on people review! Please? I'm starting school back up again on Tuesday, and I really want to get in a good college and out of Atlanta so Im going to busy working. So I will write everyday but post every other day.**

**CPOV**

My four-day vacation with my Grandmom was fun. She took me ice skating, and let me have a lot more freedom than my mom does. I love my mom to death, but its really hard to do anything when Im with her. Its like she is afraid I wont come back. I placed my favorite green blanket inside my closet, and slide the door close. I turned back around to view the rest of the room to make sure everything was back in its place. I was a little sad to leave this room. I loved Grandmom house but I really wanted to hug my mom, and see her face. Okay then, maybe im attached to her too. "Arlie!" I looked up from packing my clothes to see my little sister Alyssa the youngest of the twins peering up at me. I grunted at the name she has giving. "What is it Alyssa?" She held up my Iphone in her little thankfully clean pinkish hands. "Your phone keep going Ding DIng!" She waved my cellphone up and down. And sure enough it went Ding Ding. "See! Again!" She giggled and sat the phone on my bed and pulled herself up next to placing her thumb in her mouth. I sat on the polished hard wood floor next to Alyssa and open up my phone.

**_Carlie Im so sorry about what happen Friday at lunch. Can you forgive me?_** I looked up at Alyssa with wide eyes."Alyssa can you…...Oh yah you can't exactly read yet." She smiled up at me in response, "Dah, silly!"

I went back to reading the messages is.

I**_ was just having a bad afternoon, I was hoping to see you over the break but you had to go out-of-town and dance practice. I shouldnt have let Laura do that to you, she was just kidding. Carlie please respond._**

Then the last message was from Jamie.

_**Hey Carlie, when you get back today Im coming over for dinner I need to teach you apart of the group dance you missed.**_

I looked back up from the cell phone, should I text back to Jackson. Should I wait?

Apparently I said it out loud because my little sister who just was learning how to write her name said "You should wait." And with that she jumped to the floor and skipped out the door.

How does a five year old know what to do. But I dont. My life i swear.

**EPOV**

Tick, Tick, Tick, Tick. I sat in the cold white waiting room of my new therapist, Lodwin Clarde.

I adjusted my watch for the tenth time. And glanced at the door for the twenty time. Why I don't just leave you asked, because Alice was sitting across from me looking over magazines and going through her phone, possibly getting more fashion ideas.

"Edward stop staring, you are not leaving until you talk to the doctor." SHe didnt look up she looked down at her book flipping pages.

"Mr. Edward Cullen." My heart instantly sunk as I rose out of my chair. I followed the man into the back room. He opened the door to an office, and inside was the typical, a desk and a sofa.

"Take a seat Mr. Cullen." I looked over the doctor. He was young, like if he went to the bar, he would need to show his ID.

"You arnt the doc are you?" I said complete amused. " He sat in his chair across from me."Ha ha ha. Yes I am the doctor Im 24 years old. Yes i have a real degree and I really do work here." He said like he said that speech everyday. "Now may we move on?" I shrugged in response waiting for all the damn stupid questions.

"Why are you here today Edward?" I grunted.

"Cause my sister told me to."

"Why did she tell you to come her Edward?" I layed back in the sofa.

"He stopped scribbling in his notebook. "Edward how old are you?" He looked me in the eyes.

"Forty-Two" I said looking lazily out the ten story window. If I jumped, I would get sweet release.,,,

"Are you married?" I snapped my eyes back to him and didn't say a word.

"Children Edward?" He looked at me with his hands folded.

"Edward when was the last time you had a long term relationship?"

"Whats the matter Edward are you afraid of commitment."

I snapped back. "Screw off."

"Edward, I believe we are going to be the best of friends."

**BPOV**

"Shit." I mumbled under my breath, I stared at the stupid stove my husband just had to have. Its safe he said, less of risk. Fuck that shit. I ran cool water over my hand, as usual T was laughing at me. "You are a fabo cook Bells but uh, you clumsy ass hell. She giggled bouncing Lisa on her knee who was laughing too.

"You think its funny mommy gets hurt, huh?" I smiled down at the little baby. "Yah she does." Tasha laughed. The playful mood in the air vanished when my cellphone started ringing again.

"He is a determine bastard isn't he." Tasha mumbled under her breath.

"Yah he is."

"When are you going to talk to him Bella?" I poured the soda over the Turkey breast, splashing some on the marble top beside me.

"I will talk to him when Im ready." Never.

"When are you going to tell Carlie?"

"When I talk to him." And that's never, too.

"Bella I know you. Ive known you for sixteen years. You need to talk to him and you need to tell Carlie. Do you want her to grow up and then find him, then hate you because he tried to find her?"

I placed the knife on the cutting board. More like slam. "HE is trying to take MY baby, Tasha I told you this. If he dont get what he wants he takes. Its always been that way. And my baby is off limits."

"Bella get real, you know deep down inside he dont want to take Carlie from you. Bella, why are so attached to her? You do know you are overly attached?"

"No I am not. I am concerned."

"Bella when Edward left you, you developed abandonment issues. You was so depressed during the pregnancy. You tried your best to hide it but I seen right through it." She stopped to let it sink in my head.

Then she went on. "When you had Carlie, when Carlie clung to you. You felt obligated to hold on tight, because she was the reason your depression stopped. And now Edwards back your brain automatically is seeking your safe blanket. Who is now, 15 years old and Edward wants to share her, and you can't handle it. But you need to handle it."

I shake a bit at the realization of my situation. "Tahsa can you please watch Lisa and the food for me? I have something to do."

"Yeah sure." But I barely heard her, as I slipped on my coat and walked out the door.

**Wow Bella, what are you gonna do? P.S not picking up the kiddos grandma doing that. REVIEW**


	8. Home again my gift to you

**EPOV**

* * *

Ive gone to my personal hell once, and I was at my knees already begging Alice to cancel the whole thing.

"No Edward." Alice seethed for the sixteenth time.

"Alice but…" I began to whine like a bitch all over again until my cell phone went off.

_**Edward meet me tonight at the dinner, I want to talk. -B**_I smiled like a damn fool, then I became num all over when Alice snatch the cell phone out my hands.

"Alice, got dammit." She skimmed over the message least fifty times.

"Im going." She through the cell phone back in my lap and went back to reading her lastest fashion magazine.

"Alice,no." I stood up and look her down, I wanted to show her I was fucking serious.

"Edward, I will go with you, Im trying to help your dumb ass. You can't handle your temper it seems. Dont piss her off, that's what I said." She stood up and place her hands on her hips tapping her foot, speaking again without stopping for my response.

"And you go and piss her off, text her back ask her what time." And with that she she stormed upstairs and slammed the door to her room.

"Fuck." I snapped out loud at the air, I grabbed my cellphone and I replied back.

**_"Okay dinner what time?"_**Before I even closed the Messager she replied back.

**_"No dinner, me and my family will have already eaten by then. Come at 11."_**

The word my family sent a electric pain through my chest. It was her way of reminding me again that she is off the market and has moved on. A little part inside of me, still hopes that we can still be together.

* * *

**CPOV**

"Hey mom." I smiled and wrapped my arms around her neck her soft brown hair falling over my face. "Hey, baby." She smiled and kissed my temple before leaning down to the Twins.

"Mommy!" Alyssa and Adri said as a union. "My babies!" I heard my mother scream as she wrapped her arms around their tiny figures. "Hey mom." My mom said to my grandmother as she pulled in for a hug.

"Hey is all this touchy, family stuff over with…" I turned around at the all to familiar voice.

"Auntie Tasha!" I screamed in joy as I ran up to her. "Carlie jeez you getting big."

"Its you're, Tasha, its your're geting big." My grandmother walked up to Tasha and smiled.

I looked up at Tasha as she rolled her eyes. "Naw, thanks ma."

"Come on Fam. Its time to eat! Tasha can only stay a few more hours before she has to go back to work." My mom said she held Adri in her arms, I hate Tasha job, its dangerous and stupid.

She is a bounty hunter, she runs around chasing fugitives to pay her rent.

"Carlie!" I turned around to see Jamie bounding up the stairs in all her grace with her little sister Veronica trying to keep up.

My mom turned around to see the extra company. "Everyone is lucky that I cook enough to feed two homes." And with that note everyone went inside to eat dinner.

(Later that night)

"Okay at the end of the number, you do this….."

Jamie placed her hands on her hips and popped her leg out twice. "On the eighth count of the piece."

I sat on my bed with Veronica who was clutching her doll. Waiting for my sisters to return from the bathroom. "Is that it? You could have called and told me that." Jamie turned around from completing the number. "Oh, I would think you would want to talk?" I sighed. "I do have something to talk about." The door of my room flung open. "VERONICA! come on."

Veronica smiled and stomped to the floor. "Thank god Im outta here!"

"Hey!" Jamie and I said at the same time but the little girls couldn't have cared less.

"Whats the dill, pickle?" I rolled my eyes at her lame sayings she always does. Instead I chucked my cellphone in her lap and let her read the messages. She skaned over the messages and her striking brown eyes look back at me.

"Dont repsond."

"Why?"

"Does he deserve it?"

"No not really." I said placing my hands in my lap.

"You will see him Wednesday. And then you can tell him that texting an apology is a load of shit."

I didn't even think about that. If he was truly sorry he would have called. Or he would have texted again.

"My mom is here, I will see you tomorrow at dance."

"Okay." I barely whisper as my eyes was locked on my phone.

* * *

**BPOV**

After all my children was sleeping , I slipped out the door. I didn't tell my mother where I was going just that I'll be back and keep and eye on the kids.

I pulled up in front of the parking lot that I had my melt down five days ago. I pulled my red coat even closer to my body as it was even colder than the last few days.

I hurriedly walked into the diner, ready to get this over with. When I spotted Edward, Alice was sitting on the other side of him.

She didnt age a day, she was thin and pale just like I remember.

"Hello Edward, Alice.'' I said putting back up my shield.

"Hello Bella, how are you?" Edward asked me nervously thinking back to our last meeting. "Ive been good Edward thanks for asking."

"Hello Bella, I'm glad to see you, you look beautiful, I love what you did with your hair"

She hasnt change at all. "Thank you, Alice."

Before anyone could say another word I pulled out the plastic wrapped, top with a red bow with a pink paper underneath it out onto the table.

The look on their faces, said to me they was not expecting that.

"I have to go." I stood up from the table, turned around and walked away.

Well that was easier than I thought.

* * *

School was canceled today! YAH! But sadly I can't escaped it tomorrow. Here is my gift to you. Read and Review.


	9. umm what?

**To start off, Im so sorry to my followers and favs and the only one who review my story. :)**

**When I went back to school, I got thrown into a bunch of work. My lit teacher put me in a writing contest call Hear Our Voices. I will post the poem so you review it Gamecockfan2 if you don't mind. Math has been kicking my butt, and really just a bunch of projects and work. I was going to review last weekend but as soon as I got home I had to get in the car and go out of town. Enough excuses lets pick up where we left off. Also I passed all my classes! So Im still on the track of graduating the spring of 2017. Seems so far away.**

** EPOV**

I stared in the direction Bella left in, leaving nothing but a hollow hole in my heart. Alice reached over the table towards the box. I finally snapped out of my stupor when I heard her figure grip the bow. I snatched it from her hands like a child snatches a toy.

"Its mine, Alice. Im strong enough to handle it." By the way her eyes reached into my soul she can tell pass my lie. Instead of arguing, she simply stated that we will go to the Big House and open it, together.

I felt a smile tug at lips, my family was with me the whole time. Holding me up when I felt weak, giving me a shoulder when I needed it and ass kicking also when I needed it.

I wrapped my arms around Alice and thanked her, she hugged me back then lead us out to the car. The box wrapped in a red bow still the note untouched tucked safely under the bow.

**CPOV**

"Wake up. wake up. wake up. WAKE UP!" My eyes snapped open at the terrible sound in my ear. I blindly felt around my bed, intilli felt a tiny foot then a fit of giggles. "Alyssa or Adri, get out of my bed!" "Its Adri. And it times to go to school, no drop outs in this house mister!" She wagged her baby pink polished figure in my face scrunching her nose and tried to glare like mom does. "Yes mother Adri. I understand." I sat upright in bed and looked around my room. Tiny burst of light rays broke through my blinds. Which make what my little sister said true. Its time for school, time to see Jackson.

I rolled out of bed and landed with my feet on the floor finally standing straight. "Adri tell mom Im up, Ill be down in 10." She cocked her head to the side. "10 what?"

I grunted and rolled my eyes "Ten minutes, now get out."

With a snotty humf she was out the door.

I blindly put on my skinny black stone was jeans and neon pink shirt.

Slipped on my mocs, and buckle down a brown belt over looked my outfit in the mirror.

After brushing my teeth,combing my hair, and a long walk to school. I finally made it to my home room class where Jackson was looking at me from his spot in the back of the room.

I quickly sat down beside one of my friends Alison. "Hello, how was your break?" She looked at me while applying way to much lip gloss to her thin lips. "It was good." I fidgeted in my seat.

She cocked an eye brow at me. "What happen?" I grimaced at the cat like grin that sprawled across her face. "Did you lose your Vcard?"

"Oh my gosh. Hell no, I cant believe you asked me that!" I said almost a bit to loud, everyone turned our direction, making me instantly turn a deep shade of red.

"What everone is doing it." Alison shrugged her shoulders and went back to apply making up on her face. "Doing what?" Gracie plopped down in the chair across from us. "She thinks I lost my virginity over the break." I whisper in her direction.  
Gracie rolled her eyes and grunted. "Just because you popped your cherry in the eighth grade, dont mean everyone else is doing too." I remembered the day we was at the park late one time at the end of May. Her and her EX boyfriend, brought beer and basically drank the whole thing. One thing led to another and they was was basically ripping the clothes of each other body right in front us. I then stayed at Gracie house that night because I felt like I lost virginity too, watching something like that go down at the park.

"You don't know what your missing she smiled and turned towards her latest boy toy." Seriously, he might be the ninth boy since last may.

Classes went by smoothly, And I thought I was going to make it. I was really going to make it.

"Carlie." I walked a little slower. When I felt someone place a hand on my arm and spend me around. "Carlie, can we talk?" Jackson searched my eyes. "We have nothing to talk about, I snatched away from him in a huff. "Carlie, are you jealous?" I spun around and was in his face in an instant. "Jealous of who? That slut? And you? Ive seen better."

"Wow, your the one to judge Carlie. Since you are bffs with the slut of the school and she is only 14." I snapped back, bitchness full blown.

"Dont talk about Alison, she is the sweetest down to earth person ever. Your skank other wise think she is better than everyone else. Why dont you tell her, when she put in weave next time, try not to let the tracks show!" I seethed.

"Woe, calm down Carlie. Im sorry! Look, just talk to me okay?"

"Im sorry to, a bit."

He laughed. "This is the second scene you caused today!"

I looked around at the people who was staring at me as I stepped down from Jackson. Again turning bright red.

"You look cute when you do that." He reached out towards my face I instantly backed away.

"Dont make it worse." He laughed. Text me back tonight? Please. He stated before he walked out the building to catch his bus.

I felt my phone vibrate in my back pocket.

Mommy~Carlie, don't go anywhere once you get home from school. We are going out when I get home from work.

I didnt think much of it. Ha. I should have.

**BPOV**

Me and Carlie sat outside at the park drinking hot coco, rocking on the swings while I tried to gather my thoughts.

"Mom, just spit it out." Whats wrong.

"Carlie, I think its time we talk about your Dad."

"Why would we talk about him. He didnt want to step, end of disscusion." She said gripping the swing chain and digging her mocs into the mud.

"He is back, Carlie. He wants to get to know you.

I seen the different expressions in her face before it went blank.

"I dont care. I dont want to."

"Carlie think about this."

"No."

"Carlie-"

"NO." She screamed in my face.

"Damnit Carlie! Im tryin' okay? You need to think about this! Do you know how hard it was to even let you know he was in town? Sleep on it Carlie."

She got up from the swings in a fit of anger. "Im staying with Gracie tonight."

She walked across the yard and out of my sight.

Can you blame the kid? If its hard on me, its really hard on her.

**Yah chapter up and ready for you. I will post maybe again tonight. But I will post Saturday. My birthday countdown is on! Feb. 13 Turn Up! I will be sixteen! IM going to shop till I drop! TAH TAH! Review please.**


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